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Why did the chicken cross the
road?
Because he thought it was a swimming
pool!
Ha ha ... ha ... ha ...okay, I know,
it’s not that funny.
The weather was beautiful most of last
week, sunning the sky and giving cats a good excuse to laze about in
windowsills. More importantly, it started to melt just about everything.
Some areas were worse than others, but
the worst areas were pretty nasty. I haven’t heard about any bad
flooding, but some streets and back alleys turned into a slushy soup.
And not just normal soup. More like that Campbell’s Chunky soup, the
kind you need a fork to eat.
In some places the melting turned
streets into swimming pools, and in others there were deep holes or ruts
in the ice. Just outside our former office (assuming we’ve moved into
the new one now as planned––come say hello!), a hole formed in the ice
that was deep enough to fish in. It was the sort of hole that swallows
entire herds of cattle without a trace, the sort of hole where sea
monsters are likely to lurk.
I am trying to impress upon you the fact
that the Loch Ness Monster could have been hiding in this hole and
nobody would have known.
Everyone here at the Herald had to drive
around and use the back alley because we all nearly got stuck in the
hole the first time we tried to drive through it. I saw somebody else
spin their tires in this thing for a good five minutes before escaping.
This was all well and good so long as
things were going to continue melting, so long as we knew that
street-soup was only a temporary situation.
But on Thursday everything froze up
again and stayed that way for most of the day. This turned all of the
slushy holes and ruts into deadly weapons, into lurking frozen monsters
that lured your tires into their twisted, icy clutches before clamping
shut their frigid jaws with cold, frostbitten finality.
I really need to cut back on the
melodrama. ~ ~ ~
As I mentioned earlier, with any luck
the Pass Herald is now in its new location. I wish I could give you an
exact address but I’m not sure what it is right now, and neither is
anyone else. I only know for certain that it’s along 20th Avenue
Blairmore, between 129th Street and 130th Street. It’s on the same block
as Pharmasave, Neat ‘n Nifty, and Johnny’s Barber Shop. We have a nice
new sign up on the outside, so we should be easy to spot. Feel free to
stop by anytime and take a look. Someone will give you a tour. We won’t
even charge you exhorbitant tourist prices.
I’m looking forward to settling in. It
should be a good location for the Herald, and an exciting change. But I
bet we’ll still get people coming in asking us if the vehicle registry
office is here.
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