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There is no new town talk this week. Last week's
column is below for your reading pleasure.
Awhile back I watched Donnie and Marie Osmond and the rest of the
family on Larry King Live, and they talked about their father who had
just passed away and explained in detail the values their father had
instilled in all eight of them from the day they could understand what
families were all about.
This rather took me back because these
were the same values I tried to instill in our family - family is
everything. You can think you have a lot of friends, when you suddenly
wake up one day and realize who you thought was your friend really
wasn’t - they say you can pick your friends but you don’t have the same
opportunity with family. With family you get whatever comes your way and
you make do the best you can. Sometimes the results are memorable, other
times they are horrendous - but you are stuck with what you have when it
comes to family.
I thought I had more friends than I had
fingers to count them on - what a mistake I made. At one time in my life
I would pick my friends very carefully and found out they were few and
far between. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of who my friends
really were and soon discovered once again that I have to pick a lot
better than I have lately.
Someone once gave me an article entitled
“Are you a reason, a season or a lifetime?”
and to my amazement it can apply not only to friends but to relatives as
well. So I think I’ll reprint it once again because it holds so much
meaning, especially for me.
When someone is in your life for a Reason....It
is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist
you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to
aid you physically, emotionally and spiritually. They may seem like a
Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to
be. Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to
an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act
up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need
has been met, our desires fulfilled, their work done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then there are
people who come into your life for a Season .... because your
turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of
peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never
done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it!
It is real! But only for a season. Lifetime Relationships teach
you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a
solid foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and
put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of
our life. It said that love is blind but friendships are clairvoyant. I
would like to take this opportunity to thank a very special friend whom
I have been fortunate enough to have as a Lifetime relationship
with. You have made my walk through this life and especially after I was
removed from life support this summer so much brighter, and you have
always given me strength to believe there is still good to be found in
this sometimes crazy world. You have also given me the strength to
believe in myself again and to make myself #1 instead of putting
everyone ahead of myself. You have also given me the insight and peace
of mind to accept not everything in life is the way you think it should
be - other friends and family have their own desires and dreams and you
have to let them follow them. If they make mistakes along the way they
will learn from them. You won’t always be there to help them out. My
friend has taught me so much and I will be forever grateful to her for
being there when I needed her most.
So if you think you have more friends
then fingers forget it - it just isn’t going to happen. You will be one
of the lucky ones if you can count Lifetime friends on one hand.
The rest of your family and friends will use you for a Reason, a
Season, but never for a Lifetime. So today as I sit and
write this Town Talk article I reflect on the years I have put to bad
use, and I have decided to change my priorities and make time for myself
and those I want to do for - and let me tell you, in all honesty, there
aren’t too many people I will put before myself A season comes in our
lives when we must accept change and let go of the past - somewhere
along my path of re-discovery I believe I have found serenity, courage
and wisdom. I think I have made a positive change in my life and I can
honestly say I have never felt more at ease with the life and
surroundings - I feel like a bird who has just escaped the “gilded
cage.” I don’t expect anything from anyone and I don’t think anyone
expects anything from me.
Sorry if I sound bitter but I have just
kicked my butt into the survival mode - a mode I learned very early in
life. And guess what, folks? It feels good. One lesson we must all learn
in life is you can’t pick your family, but you can certainly pick your
friends - don’t waste your time, pick carefully.
Watch next week for an article from John
Kinnear - remember, I do one and John does one - which leaves both of us
with only 2 articles per month.
A new Towntalk will be published
every other week.
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